As I’ve said about eleventy billion times, I’m working on the newest Shalan Adventure. Technically, in the series’ original format, this would have been Shalan Origins #2, but as I’m working on getting the whole series published, hopefully in chronological order, this would be Shalan Adventure #2 instead. Sorry. That was a bit of a squirrel. Anyway, if you have read my most recent book, Hold Your Peace, you know that ends with a wedding. Well, it only makes sense that this one begin with a reception. And at receptions, you hear toasts. Here’s one given by Harry Shalan’s best friend Otis Campbell, who is indeed named after the town drunk on The Andy Griffith Show, his family’s favorite show.

Let me know what you think, please.

Our wedding was early in the day, so we opted for finger foods rather than a full meal; therefore, we were quickly to the point of toasts. As I picked at the last of the cantaloupe on Dee’s plate—my third heaping mound of food had been empty for ten minutes—Otis, who had made his way back to his seat beside us no more than thirty seconds earlier, stood and tapped his champagne flute with a butter knife he’d purloined from the kitchen. “If I could have your attention, folks. Folks. Hello.” He was being unusually shy. Maybe I should have sneaked some actual champagne into his glass.

“All right, PIPE DOWN!” There was the voice I was used to. “Sorry to go all cop on you,” he said sheepishly to the now-dead-silent room, “but it’s time for our toasts and I’d rather be talking to a hopped-up meth-head through the grate of my cruiser than a bunch of clean-cut, civilized folks like yourselves, so I better get this over with before I chicken out.”

He paused a few seconds, seemingly lost in the tiny bubbles in the sparkling grape juice. The half-smile that came onto his face was enigmatic. I honestly didn’t know if I should be looking forward to or really afraid of what he was about to say. “I don’t know how many of you know this, but Dee and I were once an item.”

Dee looked at me, her face flushing, her eyes wide. I shrugged and leaned closer. “You said no parameters.”

“Well, to say we were an item is probably stretching things ever so slightly. I mean, look at me.” He touched his empty hand to his chest. “And then look at her. Have you seen a worse match in your life? Not that my Dee is shallow—she’s anything but—but the laws of nature dictate that such a rare and surpassing beauty find a mate who is at least only one league behind hers and, let’s face it, if Dee is the majors, I’m clearly Legion ball at best.”

Dee buried her face in her hands and shook her head before swatting Otis, who had moved to stand between and behind us, in the stomach with the back of her hand. “Stop!”

“While I’ll always treasure our short but ill-fated romance, I knew on some level it was only a matter of time before she found someone a little more able to not ruin family photos. Imagine my surprise when she fell in with this ugly ape.” He gave my shoulder another affectionate squeeze.

“Hey, now.” I fake elbowed him. “It hurts because it’s true.”

“In all seriousness, I’ve known Harry since we were shooting spit wads at each other in first grade. I knew him through his chubby phase. And I have the class pictures from Tavennerville Elementary, may she rest in peace, to prove it, by the way. We would have called him the Round Mound of Rebound on our school basketball team, but that would imply he ever got a rebound. As we got older, he slimmed down everywhere but that melon of a head. But I digress. I just want you to know, Harry, over the years, I’ve found you to be a royal pain in the butt.”

I sighed. “Feelin’ the love, brother.”

“Seriously, though, how do you think it feels to be a cop and have a best friend who is not a cop but who is a better shot than you and could beat you senseless with one hand tied behind his back? And look at that face. I mean, I’m as straight as they come, but even I will admit that’s a good-looking face. And I’m not even bitter about that.”

He paused again. I studied the dainty hand I was holding, the thumb of which was gently caressing the back of mine. Finally, he let out a sigh. “I promised myself I wouldn’t get emotional.” His voice cracked a little. I most definitely did not have to swallow down a lump in my throat. “Harry is not your average Joe. If I believed in reincarnation, I’d swear he was a knight in shining armor in a past life. To be his best friend is maybe the highest honor of my life so far. So, to say it would take a spectacular woman to be his mate is the biggest understatement ever. But you know what’s amazing? Dee is pretty much the most spectacular woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

A tear escaped my eye. To my left, several were escaping from Dee’s. She let out a ragged breath as she daubed at her eyes with her free hand.

“Usually, when you say two people deserve each other, it’s a bad thing. Well, these two deserve each other and I mean that in the best way possible. I’m so glad that Superman found his Lois. Ladies and gentlemen,” he said as he raised his glass, “I give you the happy couple.”