My time as a full-tme teacher ended last May. It was definitely bittersweet. Sorry for the cliche, but it is one for a reason. I continue to have moments that tug at my heart, making me wonder if I quit too soon. After all, I still love being with the kids and I loved having my own room and my own students and having a sense that I was an insider, so to speak. That was driven home last Friday evening, when Sarah and I went to the staff tailgate and then the football game. Little things added up to just a dollop of sadness. I no longer had a key fob and had to walk around the building to get into the cafeteria. Not one of the seniors who also attend the tailgates was my student; all but one was a complete stranger, and I only knew the one because she’s the little sister of one of my former students. When we finished eating and had time to kill before the game, I had no room to hang out in. I felt like I was an outsider.

But then on Sunday night, I was reminded of the sweet part. When Sarah and I got home from our busy day of church with a more-protracted-than-necessary meeting after and a trip to the store that turned into a trip to two stores, both of which were packed like the day before a blizzard, we sat down to watch some TV. After a bit, something kind of tickled at the edge of my mind. A restlessness, like there was something I needed to be doing. Eventually, it dawned on me–my weekends used to end on Sunday afternoon. At best I could give my full attention to the early NFL games, with the evening games playing as background noise as I worked on lesson plans, answered emails and Schoology messages, and/or graded essays or tests. Last night, when the first game ended, I watched the second, after which Sarah and I snuggled with our puppy as we watched a movie in bed together, not a lesson plan or essay in sight. And I knew I had to work today.

Yes, being a substitute teacher can be stressful sometimes, like when you’re going into a room for the first time. If the kids are ill-mannered, it can make for a long day. But, as my friend and fellow sub, Linda Howard said just this morning, I can do anything for a day. And if the kids are too bad for that particular teacher, I can just never sub in that room again, especially when there’s plenty of work like today, in which my students come in, sit down, do their work, and allow me to write a blog post without even having to look up from the keyboard. And I get paid for this–paid quite well, actually. I can be selective about for whom I sub, take a day off anytime I need or want, my work day ends when school ends, and the money is good. I can go the long way around the building in exchange for that.