I know it’s the day after 9/11, but we did our observation at school today, so the memories became fresh again today rather than yesterday. I always associate the memories of that event with school. This is partly because I was at school when it happened. Like everyone else, I remember where I was and what I was doing when the planes hit. I won’t go into details, but all my most vivid memories of 9/11 are directly or indirectly related to Parkersburg High School. The event itself and decades of observances since have inextricably linked the two in my mind.

I’ve written about my memories of September 11, 2001 multiple times over the years, so I won’t belabor them. Instead, today, I’d like to talk about two things of which I am reminded when I think back on those horrendous events. In the interest of simple accuracy, I should say these are the things that come to mind now. My take-away has changed over the years, as the gap between 9/11 and the present has grown and the gap between the present and the inevitible end of my time on Earth has shrunk.

First, say the good words. Tell the kind truth. Take the time to be affectionate. Never leave an encounter with a friend or loved one without making 100% sure they know you love them and are blessed to have them in your life. Say I love you. Hug them. Kiss them. Smile at them. Look them in the eyes and tell them they mean the world to you. Is that awkward? Embarrassing? WHO CARES?! Do it anyway.

Second, enjoy the now. Don’t spend every waking moment looking down the road for some future hoped-for happiness. All you have is right now. You don’t even have five minutes from now. Find something to be joyful about in this moment. Even if your circumstances aren’t perfect. If I am having a hard day, where the kids in my classes haven’t done their homework and I spilled my lunch down my shirt and I forgot to close my door and got yelled at by an administrator, I have more to be joyful over than I could ever deserve. I don’t know what it is for you, but all I have to do is say two words to be filled with joy: Sarah and Lauren. My heart leaps when I remember I have a wife and a daughter who love me completely.

But Joe, I don’t have an amazing family like yours. My family sucks. What do I have to be joyful for? I don’t know–maybe your best friend or a teacher who gave you a really good grade on your essay or a job that is steady and pays well–the point is, it doesn’t have to be a big splashy reason to be joyful. It can be a small thing. Petting a dog or cat. Listening to your favorite song on repeat. Ultimately, you are where you are and wherever that may be, joy is a choice you can make. Make it!